Jenn (hystericalheart) wrote in ed_ucate,
Jenn
hystericalheart
ed_ucate

the perfect body?

I'm wondering if any of you are afraid of aging for what it does to your appearance? Are you afraid of being in an accident that may leave you disfigured?

I'm horrified of growing old, growing wrinkles and sagging breasts, thin hair, all that jazz...while the memory loss and slow deterioration of my brain is a little freaky, it's really the idea of looking old that makes me hate the idea so much. Even the deterioration of my body--osteoperosis, pain, et cetera--I'm not afraid of facing that. Just facing...my older, uglier face in the mirror.

I see a lot of comments about "live fast, die beautiful..."

I never want to get any uglier. I don't want my body to change anymore--
I am most certainly not waif-like or underweight. I have DD breasts and an ass and curves. I'm not interested in regressing to a prepubescant (sp?) state. I'm not happy with my body now, obviously, but...

Due to a birth defect and several years of self-injury, I'm already mutilated. I can handle scars, but anything that messed up my proportions or further messed up my face would probably make me kill myself.

I dunno. I'm not explaining this well. Eating disorders are so darn complicated (heh).

Well, hey, help me out here.
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