Neefer (oaktrees) wrote in ed_ucate,
Neefer
oaktrees
ed_ucate

Does anyone else use Thought Records? Have they been helpful to you? I've found that I use them all the time. When it's a big deal, I have to write things down, but for many of the littler negative thoughts that spin around in my head, I can do a thought record in my head, identify the distortions, and combat the negative thinking with positive or realistic statements.

Eating Disorder Worksheets
There's a thought record template and an thought distortions list. The latter is incomplete. I have not added eating disorder centric distortions (eg social comparison and harsh self-judgement); these do fall under the broader terms, but I think it's helpful to have them spelled out. Anyway, the next version, if I ever get around to it, will have them.



Background:
Chungita is starting kindergarten this Fall. We want to keep her in the same daycare she's been going to. Alyson is in Chungita's class at daycare and will be going to kindergarten at the same school. Alyson's parents and we wish to carpool the girls so that we don't have to leave work everyday. We told the school this last May. Alyson's parents told the school this last May. We both told the school this more than once last June. We were assured that they would be in the same classroom.

NOT!

Not only are they not in the same classroom, they are in classrooms at opposite ends of the campus. Tracking five year-olds is like herding cats. Their being on opposite sides of the campus is going to add 30 to 60 minutes to the time it takes to pick them up.

I went to the school to talk to them about it. I was the first parent to come in with a request, so I'm at the top of the list. I told them that I would be delighted if she were in one of the 3 classrooms that are on the same side of the campus instead of the one that she is in. School starts tomorrow. So far, I'm the only parent to request a change. The school secretary thinks that other parents will be requesting changes, so my fingers are crossed.

I tell DH about this when I get home. He expresses frustration, anger, etc. etc. I know he's not mad at me. I know it's directed at the school. I know that. I wish I felt that. So we didn't have a fight, but I felt like we did. I think the situation would be the same for a fight. But because this wasn't even that charged, I thought this would be a good one for the exercise.

I eat whatever is within reach. I don't even remember what I ate (dissociated). It was probably left over food that the kids didn't eat. I wasn't hungry.
Trigger:
not even a fight with husband
which lead to the urge to
eat whatever is in reach (100% - a very strong urge)
which lead to
thoughts about purging, excessive exercise, and fasting
Emotions:
  • Anxiety 80->100% (I gave it 80; the group said 100%.)
  • Anger 50->70 (I admitted to not being in touch with my anger; group agreed)
  • Frustration 80
  • Disappointed 90
  • Sad 100
Thoughts:
  • DH is the least supportive person on the planet. Could he have said, "Thanks for talking to the school" ?
  • I let DH down, AGAIN.
  • I didn't fix the problem.
  • DH had all these questions that I couldn't answer.
  • No answers. I should have answers.
  • Somehow, I'm responsible.
  • Disappointed in self; couldn't fix the problem.
  • I don't want this to devolve into a fight.
  • I knew I wasn't even hungry.
  • I am not facing my anger.
  • I am not dealing with husband's perceived shortcomings.
  • I am not dealing with my inability to deal with husband's perceived shortcomings.
Distortions:
  • Emotional Reasoning
  • Overgeneralization
  • All Responsible (me, husband, kids, school)
  • Thinking in Extremes
  • HARSH SELF JUDGEMENT
Core Issue:
He's blaming me for being inadequate.
Coping Statement & Mechanismss:
  • He's not going to change, but I can grow to handle him.
  • Before talking with DH, identify emotions, thoughts, pleasurable activities.
  • Tell him I need support (acknowledgement of my efforts).
  • Tell myself I may not get the emotional support.
  • I can put aside the immediate tasks todeal with my emotions.
  • I am taking a time out, so that I can get well.
  • I am taking care of myself by going for a walk or going to sew.
  • I would like to put aside the immediate tasks to deal with myt emotions, so that I can get well.

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