Sorry for the Subject line, I couldn't real think of another title. First let me introduce myself (again). I'm an-almost-21 year old college student who works and thinks way too much. So, on my way to work I was thinking, what it is it that I seek out of my bulimia? Is it the pain of eating too much; the way the food tastes; or just giving up altogether? I'll clarify a bit with an example; mid cycle today I was in so much pain because I nearly drank 10 diet coke cans...and I called it a day (even though I had food left to eat). It was as if I could care less about the food and only cared about the "pain" part of the binge meaning that the pain signaled the end of the binge. So it was my thought that if this is what I crave, then I wonder if it would work all the time. No food, just huge amounts of fluids. This could very well be a gateway to recovery...as soon I would no longer need the purging part.
I'm not quite sure if this makes any sense, but I was wondering for the bulimics here, what are you "aiming" for in the b/p? Do you also seek the painful part of the b/p; or am I just completely crazy (haha don't answer that)