Kayty (کیتی) (_commonwealth) wrote in ed_ucate,
Kayty (کیتی)

Roommates and their disordered eating

Similar questions have been asked on this topic before, yet I found none of the responses to be satisfactory or to apply to my current issue.

Let me explain the situation:

I have an eating disorder (ED-NOS, anorexic type). I also live at my university in a suite with three other girls. I have one roommate, who is a friend of mine and whom I love dearly. This past summer, pressured by her family, she began a regimen of weight loss--eating healthier, going to the gym, etc. This worked out just fine until the past two months or so, and especially the last month since we have been at school together. "Healthy diet and exercise" has become calorie restriction and an aversion to exercise [lest she gain weight from an increase in muscle mass]. She claims to have struggled with disordered eating in the past, which I cannot verify but would not be surprised about.

I'm worried. Myself and our two other suitemates are very, very worried. She is a dear friend whom I do not want to see fall prey to this disease.

So my question is: How do I help?

It seems like an easy thing to answer, yet the more I think about it, the more I despair of finding a way. You see, I am in the midst of my own eating disorder, which, as you all know, controls the majority of my thoughts and actions. I restrict my own calories, obsessively check calorie counts, eat weird stuff to satisfy cravings, look at myself in the mirror, weight myself all the time... all that bad stuff I know I shouldn't be doing. In short: I am a trigger. I am not sure if I do, in fact, trigger her, but as her behavior sometimes triggers me, I can imagine myself doing the same to her. We have no other option but to live together (until late May) and we are good friends. I don't want to see her get sick.

In short: I'm worried, I want--desperately-- to help, but I do not know how I possibly can. I'm meeting with my other suitemates today to give them some information on eating disorders and explain as best I can what it feels like. From there... I do not know what we will do.

I would appreciate any advice--any at all--and to know whether any of you have been in similar situations.

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