i wasn't born with enough middle fingers (frailing) wrote in ed_ucate,
i wasn't born with enough middle fingers

I've suffered from eating-disordered behavior for probably half my life, probably because it became connected with my OCD and depression, but when I was 16, I spiraled into binge eating (I believe I met the criteria for NED) and gained about 20 pounds. When I was in college, I began to try to lose the weight but my attempts (somewhat intentionally, because I am very masochistic) spiraled into an eating disorder (ED-NOS), mainly restricting, and I lost about 30 pounds, often on the verge of being underweight but never quite. By the time I reached law school I had learned to purge and over the last year, I lost another 20 pounds so I am currently at a BMI of 16.3. I suppose health-wise I may have some issues with my heart hurting occasionally, and I have been amenhorric for the past eight months, but I don't have many other of the symptoms of an eating disorder, despite being at a somewhat low weight.

I'll be going to the doctor's for my yearly physical, and I have very minimal school-affiliated health insurance. I gained weight before my last physical, so I will probably weigh a difference of 40 pounds since my last visit. I'm concerned that if "PATIENT HAS AN ED" appears on my medical charts, I will be charged more money for insurance. Not necessarily while on this plan, but if I'm seeking my own insurance plan in the future. I'd like to avoid this happening, in case I am able to recover on my own (or with therapy alone). I don't want to do irrevocable damage to my records (yes, I recognize the irony in that statement).

The same goes with the dentist. I have always been a model patient with them, and they always comment on how well I clean my teeth, but probably due to my purging (typically, 30,000 calories a day) they have noticed some gum recession in the last year and declared it was due to "brushing too hard."

What is your experience lying to/being honest with medical practitioners? What is your experience with saying nothing; how have they responded independently to significant changes in weight? Obviously honesty is technically the best policy to preserve one's health, but I feel as though sometimes it can be better to try and slip under the radar. Please keep in mind that I am an extremely secretive question, so if lying to a doctor on this scale sounds ludicrous to you, realize that I conceal almost everything and it isn't so out-of-the-ordinary to me (and also, I have a history of convincing myself that medical issues will just "go away").

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