I have two very good friends. Both of them know about my ED, they've been nothing but supportive during my stays at different psychiatric hospitals, and I couldn't love them more. However, ever since I've started eating in front of others again, a problem has surfaced. The guy friend - let's just call him T, because I'm a very sneaky person - keeps trying to find out about my calories. He always asks how many calories there are in foods, something I don't usually mind. But it's starting to get out of hand.
We went to McDonald's yesterday - he and his girlfriend got a Mc-something menu, while I had a garden salad. Then he asked the dreaded question. Okay, nothing bad so far. Then he asked how I know that the calorie content of foods is accurate. This was when I started getting nervous, since food having more calories than it says on the label is one of my biggest fears. I was more or less able to shrug off this one, but then he started going on about how the vegetables I buy and weigh might not have the exact amount of calories that are in FitDay. This was when I slammed my hands right down on the table, glared at him and asked him to stop it... maybe I was a little louder than necessary.
But the story didn't end there. On the way home, we bought some things from Lidl. He walked up to me with a bag of chips in his hand, and... well, script format is easier.
T: Hey, can it be that this bag of chips has more than 700 calories?
Me: Oh, huh? Yeah, sure.
T: And... how much is that?
Me: Well, if you're a very short/tiny woman, it almost covers half of your daily caloric intake, I guess. I don't know for sure, though.
T: Annnd... how much does it cover from YOUR intake?
Me: *trying desperately not to "get" what he's trying to ask* You mean the amount I'm actually eating or what I should be eating?
T: The amount you're really eating.
Me: Dude. I've told you a million times. I'm not. Going. To. Tell. You.
T: But I'm curious!
Me: I don't care, it's embarrassing. Please, PLEASE stop asking.
(I don't remember the exact words, but it went something like this.)
I'd like your input! Am I being too sensitive? I don't understand why he's doing this - he's a very dear friend, only he has... problems with empathy sometimes and doesn't know when to stop. How can I make him stop? I've asked a million times, I've told him nicely, rudely, half-yelling - nothing works, and he just keeps. Asking. (I'm not even going to try to think about why he's doing this, because I'm sure my ED will come up with a million "brilliant" ideas.)
What would you do if you were me? I've been really good with "drawing lines" lately, but nothing works on him. It's gotten to a point where I'm dreading the next time I'll have food around him. Would standing up and walking out/going home be an option? Or does that look like a hissy fit? What can I do, besides yelling and cursing at him, because frankly, that's all I have left now.
How do you see this? By all means, please go ahead and tell me that I'm being an idiot, if that's what you think. It's just that this has been keeping me up for four hours now - it's 4.26 AM and I'm still too anxious about this to sleep.
Update: He called me today to invite me over to their place. I told him that I was angry at him. It's amazing - he really had no idea that what he was saying upset me that much. I've told him that if he starts again, I'll walk out on him, and he promised not to bring it up again. Yay! He said that it frustrated him a lot - he didn't understand why I'm "doing" something like this. Apparently he chose the wrong way of asking...