Anna (xhabitualshine) wrote in ed_ucate,
Anna
xhabitualshine
ed_ucate

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The day your thoughts askewed

Does anyone else remember when their perspective changed?

I don't necessarily mean the beginnings of a disorder, but the day you realized maybe your body wasn't perfect the way it was made?


I was at school, in the fourth grade. Lunchtime, of course. Two girls were across the table from me. I had a little game going where I would try to finish every bit of my food before the bell rung and I would take home my empty lunchbox. This was a bragging right, something to be proud of. "Oh, I can finish all my lunch, I am superior to my classmates who can't." These girls sized me up and asked "How can you eat that much and still stay so small?" I was small. I knew that. They went on to argue about whos thighs were bigger, how large they would balloon if they ate even half of my lunch, and on and on. And I thought about it too, and wondered, what makes me so special? Maybe I should eat less so I don't make them feel bad. Maybe I would look better anyways. These girls certainly aren't fat or ugly. What do they see that I don't see?
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