I have a question concerning eating disorders and depression.
I've been in recovery for the last 9 months in an eating disorder clinic. I've been IP for months and now I'm in an IOP every day.
The fact is that things are getting better. IP was fucking hard for me but IOP isn't as bad. I'm not recovered at all but I'm starting to eat correctly and I'm working on my body and self-image issues.
And I can even go to college some hours per week.
The problem is that lately I've been feeling really depressed.
I haven't been depressed in my life and even if I was really ill I was an optimistic girl with friends who loved to do things and who loved life.
And now that things are betting better (I have more than 5 hours of therapy per day and I have solved many of my emotional problems) I'm feeling fucking sad and I don't understand it.
I'm OK sometimes, mostly when I'm with people I love... but sometimes I have too problems with being alive. I haven't contemplated suicide or feel like this before and I'm fucking scared.
So... I just want to know if this is a normal process in recovery or if someone felt like this during recovery or whatever.
I just need some kind of feedback. I'm feeling really alone and crazy with this. Most of the girls in IOP seem to be really happy with their lives after some months in recovery.
(English isn't my mother tongue. Sorry for the errors!)