fuckingribs (fuckingribs) wrote in ed_ucate,

First post.

so, I've been watching this community for a while, but I've never posted. I had an eating disorder for a year, and for about 3 months now I have been working really, REALLY hard at recovery. Fully dedicated. And It's going amazingly. I'm completely blown away from how much I've managed to change in these months, and I now consider myself to actually be healthier and happier than the average woman in america who DOESN'T have an eating disorder. I'm really, really doing great right now. 

But I've been wondering, even after you've made a full recovery, is it normal to still have one or two eating disorder things pop up? Like, for example, even though I eat whatever I want, and feel good about it, and don't count calories, and listen to my body, and love the way I look, there are still these little things that keep popping up.

Like, I have a hard time eating two of the things in the same day. It's not about calories, but I just feel incapable of eating two poplsicles in a day, or two bagels in a day. It feels like a binge to me. Even if it's really not. 
And I have a really hard time being around someone who is eating significantly less than me. 

Will this stuff ever fade? Am I being too hard on myself, since it's only been 3 months? 
Thanks, guys.

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