March 21st, 2005

not ready?

i have always seen lots of girls say that they are not ready for recovery and i'm curious as to why, bc that was not my situation at all.
i was unaware that i had an ed for 7 years, totally thought it was normal to feel ashamed about eating, whether it be the years when i hardly did or the years i would eat for hours on end. two years ago i picked up a pamplet and realized, completely, off guard that i had an ed. since that moment i worked toward recovery, i didn't want an ed, i needed to learn to deal with my problems in a productive, not destructive, way. for 7 years this was making and keeping me unhappy, i wanted nothing more but to be rid of it. i wasn't ready to not have one, it was a big tangled web that took me two years to work out before i recovered.

so, when ya'll say you aren't ready to recover, are you thinking about the time it will take you to recover? bc it wont happen by next month or maybe even next year. or are you thinking that when you want to recover you see patient therapy as your option and don't feel ready to start that? or do you just prefer to hate yourself?
i really want to know why you don't want to work on ridding yourself of such a frustrating and destructive problem. i know when its all going your way it feels empowering but when its not going your way its a terrible feeling, so please don't say the high/control it gives you is why you keep it bc that is an extreme that is never constant with eds unless you are very successful at killing yourself in a matter of months.

edit: that hate yourself part didn't come across as sincere but it is :]


Ok, this question might make me sound a bit dumb(or a lot dumb) and I'm not sure if it's already been asked. If it has, sorry :-/


Can heart palpatations(sp?) be caused by bulimia?

I feel really dumb for asking this, but yeah, I need to know.
Thanks for any answers :)


(no subject)

On a label that I was looking at it said that it contained Fruit Flavoured Sweeter (glucose-fructose) as the main ingredient.
Intrigued as to what exactly "glucose-fructose" is I decided to do some research on it.

What I found was
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Ed Awareness

"Forgive me ANA for I have sinned. It has been 3 days since my last confession:"

This is what I found in another journal community. I'm getting sick of this. I wish I knew how to start up an ED awareness 'thing'. I dont know where to begin. Although this community is a great start, the world really needs to be more aware of what Anorexia and bulimia and all other Eating disorders actually are.

I feel like the words of someone eating disordered is the only way for this to happen. I really think that universities and high schools should really educate their students on what these DISEASES actually are, from the perspective of the eating disordered.

I dont know where to start, what to do, or anything. I personally do not want to come out into the open about my issues. And on the point of this message. I think that you who are recovered (or even those of you suffering) and who are STRONG enough that you should take action. Find out what your school offers on awareness of eating disorders. People need to know the very scary very lonely and very mind-boggling effect eating disorders have on a person. Take charge!! Educate the world!

I know this is not an easy task AT ALL. But I think that there are groups out there that are specifically for awareness. Maybe we as a whole should review their thoughts, structure, and programs. Maybe we could even anonymously contribute to their effort through personal accounts...

I dont know...I just think the reason for the WANT for an eating disorder is because the Media DOES glamorize it, and people hardly get a true account of what it is like. Even movies on TV have the mia/ana/ and my friend ed bull! So that is what people think it is, a cool group!

Just my thoughts.

weight differences and perspectives according to race

This is a complete generalization, but have any of you noticed that it's much more "ok" to be heavier in society if you're black or latino, as opposed to if you're white or asian?

think of beyonce, j.lo, and ashanti. all without a surname, and surely all with greater BMIs than their white equivalents (which I'm guessing would be the likes of jessica simpson, christina aguilera, and britney spears. I can't think of any famous asian equivalents because hollywood is racist.)

I think it's mostly out of the pride those races feel over their bodies that whites/asians seem to be missing out on. perhaps this "pride" results in a lesser prevalence of insecurities, and therefore eating disorders, in those races.

what are your thoughts?