May 9th, 2005

Lifestyle choice/psychological illness

So, some people proclaim 'ana' (as they usually call it) to be a lifestyle choice not a disorder, they choose to not eat because they want to be thin and feel they can stop at any time. These are usually the people who are 5lbs under their highest weight and claim to have been 'ana' for the last 2 weeks.

Most people (i would hope) realise that anorexia is a disorder and not one you have a choice in.

I have never seen anybody claim to have the 'mental' side of the disorder yet not the physical. I found this during a browsing session on LJ:

"My name is ***** and I am ana with b/p tendencies.
I'm not your skin and bones anorexic, I'm actually very overweight for my height, but I have the mindset of a person with severe anorexia."

How can you have the mindset of a severe anoretic yet be overweight? This makes no sense to me.

Sorry if I am ranting... I have had too much gin.
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Sorry if this topic has already been discussed, but I couldn't find what I was looking for in the memories.

So here is my problem. I had been maintaining my weight on a very strict and rigid diet for two years as part of working towards recovering from anorexia, even though my BMI was still at an anorexic weight, but then I had to gain weight so that my parents would allow me to go away to college- I gained a disgusting 5 lbs. Now I am trying to loose that weight. I know how to loose weight, I've been in rehab for anorexia twice and my lowest weight was 80 lbs. However this time, my body is reacting very differently to my restrictions and it is scaring the hell out of me. I am restricting my calories and maintaining or even increasing my exercise regimen, yet I am not loosing weight and feel constantly bloated. I don't know if my body is some how rejecting my abuse, or if I am retaining water, or my body is reacting to drinking too much caffeine or my body is trying adjust to the less predictable eating patterns i've recently adopted [I will go for long periods without food, and then drink and eat a lot of bulk (diet drinks, coffee, salad and fruit) though not too many calories]... if any one had any advice or theories to help me out with my out of control body, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks, and take care everyone.
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