May 28th, 2005

(no subject)

Hello! My name is Amy and I just joined :)

So...I have a medical question. I'm not sure if it relates to my eating disorder, but it deals with my heart. It's kind of hard to explain...I'll do my best.

Sometimes in my sleep, my heart starts to race and pump furiously, and I cannot breathe. I wake up to a semi-conscious state and I tell myself, Amy, breathe, just breathe, but I can't. My heart is pumping, lurching, racing. I feel like I'm suffocating. This goes on for about 1 1/2 minutes and then finally I take a gasp of air. Then it repeates throughout the night. I usually don't fall back asleep. I have to willingly take deep and long breathes. It really scares me.

It doesn't happen every night...usually when I have been restricting more than usual or my body is feeling drained. So maybe it has something to do with my eating disorder.

I mentioned this to my mom and she said not to worry, that I'm just having panic attacks in my sleep. Not to worry? I feel like I'm dying! And panic attacks...I'm not so sure. I mean, I could be dreaming about something stressful when it happens..I don't know.
I guess it could be a form of sleep apnea, but again, I don't think so. I don't snore or really have any other symptoms of sleep apnea.

I know I should see a doctor. But it happens in my sleep, how will they tell me what's wrong, if anything is wrong. And I hate doctors. Ahhh...I know I should get over my personal vendetta against

Does this happen to anyone else? Thanks so much :)

Gender in group binging

As a recovering anorexic/bulimic whose friends are mostly aware of her condition, I've found that girls pressure me more to eat than boys do. However, this is not a new development; as far as I have seen, girls have shared more interest in group binging than boys do as an "activity" in the past, even before I expressed that I had a disorder. Unlike many paranoid anorexics, I don't think it's a "sabotage" thing; some guy said something to me recently that I thought was very funny and very true:

"When guys get together to have a fun night in, they buy a six pack of beers and get wasted. When girls have a fun night in, they buy six pounds of chocolate and stuff their faces."

I guess because we like to binge on what we're normally forbidden, and as always, there's comfort in company. Anyway, here's my point for discussion/question: why do girls find so much appeal in group binging, and or what role does gender play in this activity?