June 16th, 2005



For the past three weeks I have been binging a lot, pretty much daily due to a lot of factors, binging has practically become a coping mechanism. Along with this binging I have also been purging. What I would like to know however, is a few points to do with metabolism. I have been in 'starvation mode' (consumption of much less than 900 calories) for a very very long time. I would average about 500-600 calories every day with a rare 1000 day due to festivities or other such occasions. I knew my RMR would be very low now, but how do I find out how low?
If 3500 calories = 1 lb, then the amount of weight I have put on (around 13lbs over 2 weeks) would not have been possible, so I'm assuming that figure is for people who still have metabolism that runs. Someone told me my binging would give my metabolism a kick in the ass, but all it has given me is a very fat ass. My metabolism seems to not have changed at all.
If a person's metabolism has 'died', is it possible to 'revive' it - please excuse the phrase for lack of better words? And how do you 'revive' it without the use of diet pills and so forth?

Also, many people say that diet weight/sudden weight loss usually creeps back easily. Can this apply to the reverse? Can sudden weight gain that is not water weight be easily to lose as well? Or should I just dream on?

Thank you.
x o x o


Today I was thinking about memories of my earliest years and I came to a conclusion pretty scary. I can almost remember everything from years 2 to 9 but I cant hardly remember anything not ED related from 9 to 19 and from the last year when my ED was in its worst period. Do you find hard to remember things from your ed years?
As well I remember things like what I ate 4 days ago but most of the times I forget where my keys are or what my bf told me this morning.

Do you think this is caused by lack of nutrients, by the fact that we are depressed and/or obsessed by food or by both nutritional and phsycological facts?