May 16th, 2006

lock the door

I'm sorry.

I haven't researched AT ALL whether or not this question has been asked before, which makes me a little irresponsible, I admit, so if this is a repeat please feel free to delete.

My question is this: how many of you find that you over-apologize or apologize compulsively? If you do, why do you think you do it? Is it because of low self-esteem?

I've been saying "I'm sorry" for every little thing, even for things that aren't my fault in the slightest, since I was little. I remember in 7th grade I can remember one of my friends getting mad at me for saying it so much.

Normally I would never think to link this to my eating disorder, but when I was in IP it seemed like every other girl there was a compulsive apologizer, as well. It got so bad that one of the staff people write "What are you sorry for?" on the whiteboard. And until I went to IP, I was the only person I knew of who said "sorry" for everything. I think it might be related to low self-esteem, because apologizing all the time for things that aren't bad enough to deserve an appology or for things that aren't even your fault seems undermining to ones own self-confidence and sense of self. I'm not suggesting that people with eating disordered are the only ones who say sorry too much--but it seems fair to say that (most of) those with eating disorderes suffer from very low self-esteem, which might cause all the appologizing.

Or am I the only one who does it?