June 21st, 2006

moi

Some tidbits from group:

Originally posted here.

CBT = cognitive behavioral therapy
The idea behind CBT is that the behavior is the foundation of the disorder or healthy lifestyle. You must break the behavior to break the disorder. This therapy method has the most scientific validation behind it.

IPT = Interpersonal Therapy
This therapy asks the question, "What interpersonal context keeps the disorder going?" This methodology is also validated by the research.

It takes both. I've been working on the behaviors for about 15 months now, and I've discovered that my feelings of inadequacy are the core schema for my disorder.




Saiety Scale
1 Ravenous
2
3 Hungry
4
5 Could eat more
6
7 Content
8
9
10 Physically uncomfortable

If you are like me, you don't knw when you are "full". It's possible to keep stuffing down the food beyond 10.

One way to prevent binges is to recognise when you are hungriest. It seems so obvious to the healthy individual, but to someone who may be hungry ALL the time, it's not that easy.

Self-esteem with a hint of Philosophy

A series of questions coming your way.

I'm sure no one is surprised by or will disagree with my belief that having an ED comes hand-in-hand with a load of insecurities. The reasons for why we want to lose weight may be different but the fact that we're unhappy with a part of ourselves is the one thing that connects us all together. 

What I really want to know is how far your personal insecurities go?
Were you always this insecure; did the ED result because of being this way, or did you become this way due to your ED?
Are you ever able to see what others see instead of what you're uncomfortable and sick of seeing when you look in the mirror?

I was prompted to write all of this because of a post I made in my journal. I posted an honestly unpleasant picture of me in which I saw nothing but flaws. I was definitely not fishing for compliments because I had a breakdown after taking it. Because I could not recognize the person that is supposed to be me. 

Do any of you feel the same way? Trapped in a body you don't think matches who you really are? Feeling suffocated and restrained?

Anyway, a lot of my amazing livejournal friends were nice enough to leave sweet comments and I want to believe their sincerity but I can't help thinking they were lying to me. And what makes me most uneasy is that I will never be able to step outside of myself, go into the mind of The Other and see what he/she sees. Some of you may be familiar with Sartre's philosophy on that; how the "look of the Other" controls us so much and how we always feel the anxiety of not knowing that others really think of us. 

I'm probably rambling on too much, but I'd love to hear your thoughts about this; your insecurities, whether you ever actually believe others when they compliment you, and what you really see when you look in the mirror. 

Thanks for reading. : )

(kind of cross-posted)
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Some people in this thread talked about how they often get dizzy or have their heart race when they take a very hot shower- I also have this issue and today asked my ED doctor about it. I hope this is allowed, but I told people I would report when I found out why it happened. If not, feel free to delete. :)

He said that when you have an eating disorder/ are malnourished, most of your blood goes to your core to keep your temperature up- that is one reason why often people will have cold or blue limbs. When you take a hot shower, you shock your extremities with extreme temperatures, and your blood is forced to rush away from your core to your limbs. This puts extra stress on your heart, and because most disordered patients already have a weak heart muscle, the heart has to pump abnormally fast because it isn't strong enough to push the blood out quick enough. This is why a lot of people feel their heart race or get dizzy, and he said many of his patients actually pass out in the shower if it is too hot.

Have you had this issue? Discuss. :)