July 2nd, 2006

(no subject)

Whenever girls or boys i know are talking about their weight, they'll always ask me if I weight something like 70 pounds, jokingly. And I'd always laugh and say, no. It was just something I was used to, having been short and skinny for such a long time. I'm sure a lot of you can relate having been refered to as the 'skinny friend'.

So when some of my friends and I were hanging out, the weight topic came up again and I was expecting the typical skinny joke. And it came, but directed to my best friend Amber. And whats worse is that I didn't know my friend was talking to Amber and I answered "No!" And laughed. Then I realized he wasn't talking about me but her. I was so jealous and angry and I felt so huge because I wasn't the skinny friend anymore. That comment has stuck with me for weeks. She's underweight and I've 'average', and I can't stand it.

--- Now so this post has a point--

Has something similar ever happened to any of you? And did it make you feel as awful as it made me?

Thank everyone in advance! Sorry if this post is pointless, I'm just really upset about it.
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plastic surgery

I'm trying to fully recover but it has been a very tough road. The way the weight has settled on my body is very triggering, and it's enough to make me want to relapse at times. I have a very flat chest, but all recovery weight is going to my stomach. I hear people say sometimes how they're glad to get their curves back after getting better, but it hasn't been that way for me, as I've always been fairly small chested.

I am seriously considering plastic surgery - or specifically breast implants. I think it would help my self-esteem and would make me less self conscious about weight gain. The problem is, aside from the money issue, I don't know if a plastic surgeon would take me due to my ed-related history. Would this be the case?

Have any of you had plastic surgery post-ed? (or even pre-ed?) Has it helped, or hindered your path towards recovery? Has it helped your self esteem? What do you think about this in general?