July 3rd, 2006

infrared

NO!!!!

Previously posted in my blog.




How does the extreme stress affect the eating disorder?

I’m glad you asked. You didn’t ask? Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.

When I’m under a lot of stress, I eat to calm myself. When I’m under extreme stress, like now, I refuse to eat. Refusal, or saying NO!, is a very basic, immature way of asserting control when you feel powerless. If you have kids, you are familiar with this. And this is normal, even healthy, in 2 year olds and in teenagers. In an adult who has lots of control over her life, it’s an unhealthy response, and it’s an illusion.

But … I know it’s wrong. I know I should eat. I know it’s going to backfire in the long run. I even know that I’m hungry, but I have to fight to make myself eat.

So I’m back to a strict and structured 3 meals & 2 snacks food plan and keeping a food log. Back to basics, as it were.