September 17th, 2006

bunny, mark ryden

Quick Question

First off, the new userinfo looks supurb and I quite like it!

And now for my question: Have any of you who recovered or tried to recover ever 'mourned' over your eating disorder?

I decided to recover... 3ish months ago. I really decided to recover, I hit a low and a lot of realisations came crashing over me and I was suddently ready. At least, a big part of me was, but part of me still mourned over my disorder. Especially the first two weeks. And still every now and then I just miss it. I feel like I've lost a friend, almost. Like things got out of control and out of hand with me and another and we had to split, but I still miss them.
hands down i'm too proud for love

Adbusters no. 68

I found an excerpt from the latest Adbusters magazine in my local newspaper (Toronto Star), and so I thought I'd share it.


Shut up and eat "A table groaning with delicious food makes our senses bloom and can send us into a rapture of imagination, intellect, emotion and wonderment," writes Paul B. Hertneky, who makes a living writing about food.

"But talking about the food itsellf, at that moment, is like discussing lip tissue while kissing".

Sadly, that is exactly what appears to be happening. "These days we are goaded into elaboration. Our media heralds every aspect of food. The programs, advertisers, researchers and advocates have made an industry out of informing and scaring and enticing us. We are urged to define ourselves by our choices, and to talk about them, often with our mouths full."

Enthusiasts "gorge on images and words, rapturous words, stern words, clever words, words in the mouths of stars, experts, chefs and doctors, words off the fingertips of those like me, who obsess about food, unleash our imaginations on food, craving and coveting it, loving it and fondling it, very much vearying it, and essentially having it replace sex in our middle age".


Just something for everyone to think about. Take er easy.


Does anyone spend a lot of time thinking about the WAYS people eat, physically?

It sure is strange sometimes the way people consume food -- I mean, the actual act, the ways in which people literally feed themselves. Movements, gestures, mannerisms, speed, sound, eagerness. While I obviously have some issue that makes me feel sick and disgusted just thinking about such things, I do find it interesting. Maybe because, while so natural, I've always found it so appalling, even as a small child when I'd have to leave the room when my family members would eat dinner I'd like to to some kind of study about that, examining types of eating behaviors and what it all means.

Does anyone feel preoccupied with this kinda stuff?
[mk] fight off the lethargy.

so this should be... terrible.

My younger brother just told me that on tonight's episode of American Dad, a cartoon on FOX, one of the characters gets an eating disorder. Prepare yourself for cruel and probably unfunny eating disorder jokes! It starts at 8:30, which is... now.

And discuss?
Mischa - thoughtful/sad

Questions on strange habits

Sometimes when i'm home alone and i get the urge to binge, or have food irritationally on my mind[which is often], i go to the kitchen and 'tidy' the cupboards in a strange manner. I empty them, remove crumbs [i HATE crumbs], throw out food[particularly broken food], eat bites then throw it out, straighten them, read labels, cut down labels to make packaging 'neat'...the list goes on.
What i enjoy most is opening the biscuit tin and sorting that out. I throw out biscuits, eat some & throw out half, remove crumbs, make it look neat and keep the contents to a minimal. Once I've done this i feel instantly calmer and more at ease, my mind focused to do something else.

I simply cannot just have food there,sitting and not doing anything. In fact, it isn't food in general, it is sweet food, in particular biscuits. They make me nervous and i have to either throw them out or eat them. Which option i choose depends on my motiviation and mood.

I understand this is rather odd [however, how odd, i don't know? Maybe this is fine behaviour?]. I also have other odd habits relating to my disorder [the usual 'chew and spit', collecting 'bad' food which after days of restriction i open it up and eat mouthfuls whilst throwing some out etc, throwing out food then realising i cannot rid the thought of it sat in the bin and so i fish it out & eat it ,etc etc you get the gist].

My questions to you all, are:
-What strange habits/rituals [if any] do you do/have relating to your eating disorder?
-Has anyone ever noticed these and what were their reactions?
-If you are not disordered, what are your views on these habits and to what extent do you find them 'odd' [if at all?] ?

Any other comments would be appreciated/encouraged, as i am just generally interested.