November 15th, 2006

(no subject)

a little while back there was a post about OCDs and the corrilation with EDs.
and that along with the fact that i wrote a post in my journal and offhandedly mentioned that i didn't like a girl because (along with several other facts) she had a fear of germs, got me to thinking

it's weird that i dont have a fear of germs, because i do have (at times, pretty severe) OCD.

although, i do have a fear of MOLD. or OLD FOOD.
like, it's hard for me to eat something out of a bag or a box or a can or anything prepackaged if it's been opened once.

oftentimes, when i buy cereal i eat as many bowls as i can after i open it the first time. and then i usually never eat anything more out of the box after that. unless i'm REALLY hungry (honest hunger, not binge hunger).

it's especially bad with salsa or tomato sauce. i can NOT eat salsa after the first time i open and use it. the same thing with tomato/spaghetti sauce.

i also can't eat any vegetables or fruit i buy aside from the first few days after i bought it.

any time i've ever moved out i could NOT have food at that particular apartment/house. the fear of eating anything after it had been opened once was WAY worse. so i'd end up eating out most of the time. or buying things and eating them in the next day.

oftentimes, this fear leads to binge eating just because i like something and want to capitalize on eating all of it.

i also can't eat yogurt if it says on the package something about how it's made with live or active cultures. i have to either scribble it out with permanent marker, or not eat it at all.

my discussion for this post, is do any of you guys have similar 'fears' when it comes to food? could you relate some of your stories or your own fears? do you either overeat or undereat food BECAUSE of these fears?

Senior Project on Eating Disorders

Hi everyone! At my school, we get to pick a subject of our choice to do a yearlong project on that consists of a paper, an experiential (getting in the field) project, and an oral presentation. My question is, "What are the psychological, neurological and environmental causes of eating disorders?"
My teacher also teaches Media Studies and is absolutely convinced that the media is to blame. I personally know that that was never the case with me, and many of my disordered friends agree that it played little to no role in their ED. I was wondering, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, if you could tell me what you think the causes of your disorder might be. I'm really passionate about this project because I see so much miseducation in my peers, who seem to think anorexia and bulimia are mere diets or insults to be used on excessively thin people, and I think that this project has the potential to change that. Anyway, this is all just for a general overview so I can narrow my search topics and think outside of the box and ideas that I've had swimming in my head already. Your words will in no way be factored into my post. If there are any sources (online, book, etc.) that you can think of that would be beneficial, I'd appreciate it so much.

So, to sum it up: What causes eating disorders? To what extent, if any, is the media to blame?
Thanks you guys! :)
hands down i'm too proud for love

Rendezvous with Madness film festival, Toronto

AGHHH, I can't believe I missed this but I think many of you will find it interesting. It's pertaining to the Rendezvous with Madness film festival in Toronto which is an entire film festival devoted to mental illness. There were a few screenings related to eating disorders on Nov 12 (Thin was playing, by the way). I'm just posting this for reference. Check out the program even if you don't live nearby - this seriously look(s/ed) awesome!

Rendezvous with Madness film festival. November 9-18. 1001 Queen St W.

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Does anybody else on this community consider themself to be recovered? If you do, at what point (like what kinds of criteria) did you decide that this enigma called "recovery" had happened to you? (hmm sounds like in the velvetine rabbit, when "real" happens...but i'm off topic already).

For me, I first thought that I was better when I'd gained all the weight back - but I was about as naive as my doctor, and we both thought that that was all that an ED was. When I "relapsed" again less than a year later, I realized that I hadn't really been recovered in the first place.

Now, again, I believe that I'm better. I've maintained a healthy weight for several years, eaten well *most* of the time for nearly two years, and if someone were to ask me, "what terrifies you more, losing weight or gaining weight," I'd answer "losing weight." I no longer think that emaciated women are pretty. I'm not jealous of thin people, but instead I'm jealous of people who don't care about their bodies - and I've realized that I can classify myself into that category, because whenever girls are whining about how they look, I consider myself not just one of the lucky ones because I'm thin, but one of the lucky ones because I'm not worried about my weight. I considered myself recovered as of the day when my therapist released me from her care, since as far as she could tell I didn't have an eating disorder any more.

if you are recovered, when did you realize that you're recovered?
if you're not, what do you expect to be the thing that will make you cross that line?
whether or not you're recovered, what scares you more - losing enough weight to be extremely sick, or being a normal weight.