February 21st, 2007

the last unicorn
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(no subject)

if this has been asked before and i am sure it has, i'm sorry. i did do a search but i am looking for current answers and feedback directly to ease my mind.

i have met criteria for anorexia, bulimia and ed-nos at some point at different times obviously. currently i would be diagnosed as ed-nos were i not too stubborn to see a doctor. which i should but i wont but let's not get into that.

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that said, i have refused doctor treatment and therapy always. but i am beginning to actually consider a therapist or psychiatrist whether or not they specialize in eating disorders. i cannot/will not consider an ED clinic for recovery as i just could not handle that mentally or physically right now. i simply need to get myself under control and if therapy works then i will go from there.

i am on no medications if that matters at all..

but i am needing to know experiences with therapists or psychiatrists when in subject of your eating disorder. doesn't matter which ED you have/had, or if the psychiatrist knew everything or nothing about it. i want to know:

a) did it help? (should i bother?)
b) what privacy level are you kept at? (this is my problem and not my mothers, she doesn't need behind-my-back updates on this, if she must know she can talk to ME strictly)
c) what did sessions consist of?
d) tell me anything that might be crucial or worth knowing. good experiences. bad ones. anything.

i am entertaining the idea but i'm a stubborn cow and unless i know that speaking with a professional will do some good i will continue to sit on my bony ass and procrastinate it until i wont feel like bothering.

Can you help diagnose me?

I feel like an absolute ass asking stupid questions, but I need some guidance on my ED.
On the face of it, I'm anorexic:
- BMI 17-17.5
- I'm obsessed with losing weight, food, body size etc
- I eat 600-800 calories a day
- I haven't menstruated for three years.
But the complication is, I have an alcohol problem. I drink to feel less hungry and to get to sleep, at least a bottle of wine a day. That's gonna push my calorie intake sky high and probably explains why I can't shift off my weight plateau. Does the fact that my booze intake probably adds an extra thousand calories to my daily intake mean my eating disorder is something else? Alcorexia or something? ;)
I'll understand if this post is inappropriate, I'm just rather confused as to how to term the damage I'm doing to my body.
Cheers for reading!
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