crystal_clear13 (crystal_clear13) wrote in ed_ucate,
crystal_clear13
crystal_clear13
ed_ucate

crystal_clear13



Part 1

--Age: 26

--Gender: Female

--How I found my way here: Reading other EDs posts

--Questions/comments/concerns: Comment: Glad not to feel alone

Part 2 (disordered members only)

--ED: ed-nos (I still have my period, although I am late right now) I usually restrict, fast at least half the week, and purge if I eat.

--Diagnosed/Self-diagnosed?: Self-diagnosed. I had bulimia in high school until sometime in college, stopped, then recently started restricting, knowing that if I started that, I would not be able to stop. I think if I saw a doctor, I would be diagnosed if I do start losing my period now.

‡ Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified

Please indicate which eating disorder criteria you DO have (not just "food issues"):
[_] binging (more than ~800 calories per sitting)
[X] purging (vomit, laxative, diuretic, enema) after binging
[X] purging (vomit, laxative, diuretic, enema) without binging
[X] excessively exercising after eating
[X] chewing and spitting
[_] obsession with "pure" food
[X] terror of gaining weight
[X] self-worth based on looks or weight
[X] I answered the question below

What do you feel is the difference between your attitudes/behaviors and those of someone who has normal insecurities about her body?

I doubt people with normal insecurities feel the fear and panic I do when I eat anything, yogurt, veggies, fruits, chicken, whatever. I have now lost 24 pounds since March 3rd, and I think I look exactly the same, just smaller (but only a little smaller). If I don’t make my goal weight by the goal time, I feel like a flipping failure. If I screw up on a project at work, or make someone feel bad, I feel like I have to punish myself by restricting severely or fasting or some other way…
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