--How I found my way here: LJ search
--Questions/comments/concerns: about the community you mean? no. But I have questions/comments/concerns about everything every second of the day.
Part 2 (disordered members only)
--ED: I have a history. Started as a binge eater at 47 BMI, dropped down to 16.5, (anorexic- diagnosed) recovered and went into remission 3 years ago, but now it's back, and I'm pretty sure it's ED-nos.
--Diagnosed/Self-diagnosed?: BED- self-diagnosed in retrospect; anorexia nervosa- diagnosed; Ed-nos- self-diagnosed.
[X] binging (more than ~800 calories per sitting)
[X] restricting (under 900 calories a day)
[X] purging (vomit, laxative, diuretic, enema) after binging
[X] purging (vomit, laxative, diuretic, enema) without binging
[X] excessively exercising after eating
[X] chewing and spitting
[_] obsession with "pure" food
[X] terror of gaining weight
[X] self-worth based on looks or weight
[X] missing period
[X] I answered the question below
What do you feel is the difference between your attitudes/behaviors and those of someone who has normal insecurities about her body? I want to take a knife and cut off all the fat in my body. My ugliness goes right to the bone. I don't even consider myself human. Food repels me. The thought of eating seems unnatural and disgusting to me.