abandme (abandme) wrote in ed_ucate,

I am so frustrated :(

I love going running, it is like a meditation for me, I run wherever I want and for as long as I want.
One of my friends was mentioning all the time how we should go running together. I don't like the idea at all, why can't she just go and run by herself. I love her to bits, and explained to her that I prefer running on my own, that way I will not be interfered with, for me it is such an enjoyable thing when I do it by myself, no one interfering or interrupting. But no, she had to insist that she will go with me tomorrow :( .
Fine, but if she will feel tired along the way, I will have to stop with her. I will want to run for more than an hour, but most likely she will not want to go on for that long. I explained this to her, but she is insistent. WHY CAN"T SHE GO WITHOUT ME?????
She did say that she doesn't have motivation to go, so I am being used as a motivation :( .
I didn't feel nasty enough to say no, but I made it clear to her that I am not enthusiastic about going with her, but she doesn't get the message. Running is such a healer for me, and if I will have to stop tomorrow because of her, I will be mad. I think I will just keep going or something if she doesn't want to anymore, so, she will not be tempted to go with me again. She is lovely, and she is my friend, but this particular thing is driving me mad, I feel so interfered with ....grrrrrrrr.
SOme things are just private, you don't go meditating in a group, it is personal, running is like meditating for me.
And I hate the idea of being used as a motivation. Can anyone understand what I mean?


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