Pomegranate seeds over rubies. (ceruleancrayon) wrote in ed_ucate,
Pomegranate seeds over rubies.


There have been discussions about whether eating disorders are vain/selfish. While I believe the answer to that question is very case specific, I was wondering how you all feel about the amount of self-analysis that goes on in eating disordered individuals. Just reading some of the posts on here, many of us develop theories about why we came to be this way, why we have certain behaviors, etc.

When I indulge in the self-analysis, the level to which it escalates really disgusts me. It's not that I don't think about other things, it's that the ratio of thoughts about other things to thoughts about food/self are severely unbalanced, and whenever I turn inwards and start hypothesizing reasons for why I am so obsessed with food, a little voice inside my head says "This is horrible and full of self-absorption--why can't you be like other people, immersed in the world around them, not in your own sick thought processes?"

This question itself is kind of a paradox, as I wouldn't be able to answer why I analyze myself so much, without analyzing myself.

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