crystal_clear13 (crystal_clear13) wrote in ed_ucate,

EDs in families

I looked for a while in the memories and discussions (which I love to read) but I didn't find this question already asked so...

There has been a lot of discussion over whether people 'pick up' EDs or are predisposed, etc. It seems, though, that I have a lot of family members who have full-blown EDs or have disordered eating or food issues.

My questions:
1. Do you know for sure of others in your family who have/had an ED?
2. If yes, do you talk to them about it?
3. Do you suspect others in your family have EDs?
4. Was/Is your family very focused on weight/food?

My answers:
1. My cousin Sarah is what I call "very" bulimic, to the point I fear she will die someday. My mom's sister had anorexia.

2. As sad and sick as it sounds, Sarah and I 'share' purging and restricting stories and there have been times she and I will talk on the phone just to b/p. She used to be very heavy and started purging when she became a drug user/alcoholic shortly after being raped at 14. She lost about 75 pounds and ended up in the hospital for kidney failure, etc. She is very open with her parents and siblings about the bulimia but they just tell her to stop. Hrmph. I, on the other hand, was partly the reason for her bulimia because our grandmother (I'll get to her soon) always talked to Sarah about how thin I was (I was a late bloomer so it was more the fact I had not started puberty than an ED.)

3. I suspect my sister has disordered eating. She will not eat for days, and then consume a whole bag of Oreos without batting an eye. I have been deathly afraid she will start purging too. She is a motivator for me to lose more weight... but I weigh less than her and am about 3 inches taller--she still looks thinner than me in my eyes.

I also suspect my mom. She doesn't eat except for exactly four graham crackers with her chocolate milk at 8 PM everyday and for a small plate of Sunday dinner. She drinks only chocolate milk and juice all day. She talks about her weight constantly, something I wish she wouldn't because of my own anorexia/bulimia, and because she has breast cancer and needs to eat to get better...

My dad has food issues, crash dieting and losing like 30 pounds in 3 weeks, and then binging for months afterwards. When I had recovered from bulimia the first time, my dad had the nerve to point at my stomach and say, "You aren't pregnant are you? Didn't think so..." I started purging again that night.

My grandma, mentioned above, has always gone to the bathroom after eating. She enjoys pinching my sides when she sees me and just looks at me disapprovingly. I have a sick desire to see her now, since she hasn't seen me since my EDs started again and have lost 30 pounds... I fear, though, she'd still say something, like, "Way to go, how much more are you planning to lose?"

4. OH yes, huge issues. My family/extended family eats like food is going out of style but will tell me or Sarah that we will get fat if we eat salad. About two months ago, I told my dad that I have AN Type II... he has only called me once since then, and asked if I was still going to therapy for my 'problem.' My mom told me I don't have a disease.

Sorry if this question isn't allowed, delete if need be.

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