&It's not hunger, it's habit. (iateforyoutoday) wrote in ed_ucate,
&It's not hunger, it's habit.

Prose from the outside.

My boyfriend and I are extremely open about my ED. Recently he tried to put himself in my shoes concerning it, listening to what I said and attempted to see how it would feel - to feel this everyday. The piece he had blew my mind away, and I thought I would post it and share it, because not only am I sure it's something we can all relate to, but something that will touch anyone - disordered or not.

" It's nothing more than an ocean and an ocean is all it really is. But it's so much easier to keep afloat in even the coldest of currents than it is to wallow in your own acceptance. Blessed be the one who is able to conquer numerical armies on a landscape of tighter skin and sharper hips. And if it's a distance between a mirror and a soul, then it's hitting closer than I'd like with a backdrop of orchestrated demons pointing out my desires. It's nothing more than a romance and a romance is all it really is. It's a lover unwilling to watch the thing that means the most to them just disappear, and thus they begin to sacrifice themself to keep any sort of feeling there. It's nothing more than a fairy tale and a fairy tale is all this really is. However, both the hero and the damsel are played by the same person. And the glitz and glamour of the story have worn off with the confusion that comes along when one forgets who is supposed to be rescuing who. It's all actions and reactions composed entirely of screams detailing an epic loss of control laced with a denial that that control is anywhere besides your own hands. It's nothing more than a car crash and a car crash is all it really is. I will slam my wrist-bones against windshields again and again just to prove how serious I can get. And I will dwindle as I admire the wreckage that has become my body because it's proof that I still have a small grasp on that control of mine. " © inhaleabattle

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened