hello, i'm [slightly less] fucked (asthinasher) wrote in ed_ucate,
hello, i'm [slightly less] fucked

bulimia recovery

i was having a conversation with my mom about my 3/4 days of b/p's and then 3/4 days of 'restraining' and how i think that'll aid in my recovery, at least at this point.

however, the more i was talking about it with her, the more i realized: i think the best way to slowly stop the binging/purging madness is to somehow find a way to re-train the way you eat.
to learn to distinguish the difference between 'real' hunger and 'mental' hunger;
to figure out the signals (that you've lost) that tell you when you're comfortably satiated, not full (to the point where you feel like you can binge anyway / need to purge) but not still hungry...

because for me, as a diagnosed bulimic, i can refrain from purging if i figure a way to stop the binges ever happening.

[however, this doesn't really apply to those that purge up even 'normal' meals, of course]

have any of you tried this particular method? i mean, i know it seems fairly obvious, but it didn't really become clear to me until the words tumbled out of my mouth.

when it comes to food, my brain cannot distinguish 'normal, healthy' consumption from severe restriction and out-of-control binging. i don't even remember what it feels like to go to a restaurant and eat without chaotic thoughts/paranoia/thinking of a way to rid my body of it. it's rather upsetting. i wish i'd never started.

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