Caitlin (the_satin_doll) wrote in ed_ucate,

bulimia question

I have been anorexic for six years with occasional but (until now) rare bulimic episodes. Ever since I came back to college in January I have been engaging in bulimic behaviors regularly. On average, I binge and purge on 4 days of the week; on these days there are usually between 2 and 4 binge-purge episodes. The other days of the week I heavily restrict and/or fast. Obviously this has been causing me a lot of emotional distress so recently I've just started getting into bed and trying to sleep after each binge-purge episode. The past few days when I've been lying there my heart has been beating really really intensely and rapidly to the point where it scares me. Later in the day it's back to its usual very slow (well below average) rate. Does anyone know what this means and if I should be immediately really worried? I had hoped to finish my semester and then seek intensive treatment (my anorexia had gotten very serious last semester) but I'm starting to wonder if I should just withdraw from school immediately and put myself in the hospital (I have been hospitalized twice in the past for anorexia). I guess my real question though is if it safe for me to stay here at school for two more months given the condition of my heart and the fact that I have tried so hard to stop these viscious cycles but to no avail. If this is an inappropriate post feel free to delete.

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