sheza_doll (sheza_doll) wrote in ed_ucate,

I have never understood this...

I would like to discuss the "pro-ana" websites. I have been to some of them and even posted, but I stopped because I just can't seem to relate to most of the posts. I just can't understand where most of the girls are coming from.

Here's the thing. Almost every single post is one these types:
1) Oh my gosh, I can't believe I ate a hamburger, fries, and and 3 cookies today for lunch. I'm so mad at myself.
2) My friends asked me to go out to eat with them so I had to eat the steak dinner since that's what they ordered.
3) I had to eat the potatoe because everyone would get suspicious.
4) It was so hard, I ate only 200 calories the past 2 days, but then I screwed up today.

First issue: The hardest part about the disorder is the act of actually pulling food out of the fridge and ingesting it. It feels like a chore, like I know that I NEED to, but I don't WANT to. In a way, I'm jealous of some of the girls in the pro-ana community because they are the opposite: they work HARD to restrict.
Second issue: I understand that if you're under 18 your parents can force you into an in-patient recovery program. But why do so many of them over 18 worry so much about being "locked up" in IP if they get found out? The only time I was ever FORCED to stay at hospital was when doctors had me legally committed b/c on top of being anorexic I threatened to kill myself (yes I know that was stupid).

I have nothing against people in pro-ana communities. I just find it hard to understand most of them. When I'm in my anorexia cycle, I excercise like a maniac and eat 500-800 calories a day of ultra healthy food. But when I'm bulemic, I will have "planned/purpose" driven binges and then "plan" on getting rid of afterwards through purging, laxatives, exercise, or all three.

Discussion: From my ed program, I know that some girls will stop eating entirely for 30 days, or will restrict for months on end to just enough to barely keep them alive. One girl was 5'7" and came in at 65 pounds. But then there are people like this one girl who restricted to 1,000 calories a day but would run 10 miles or more and was just as bad off. Is there such a thing as typical anorexic eating behavior? What is YOUR eating behavior like? Can any of you relate to the three types of posts found in pro-ana communities?

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