Right now I'm at a point where I feel dirty, disgusting, unclean.... My mind is cluttered up with "disordered thoughts", I can't stop thinking about food, I worry about myself too much and sometimes I don't worry enough. It's a huge thing to deal with. It feels like I'm failing my entire life at times. I've gone for help about depression, but basically nothing can be done for me and I find myself at a dead end.
I want to fast for more than 20 days. Not for weight loss, not for religious reasons, just so I can focus on fixing my life, my education, clearing my mind. My goal is to simply do the things I enjoy instead of counting calories, and try to rid myself of the idea that food is a problem. During this time I would only have vegetable broth, water and juice(natural sugars only). I know it's possible, people do it all the time.
So my main reason for asking this and posting.... I want to know your opinions, and how would I sort this out with the people I live with (my mother and stepfather take care of me). I want to make my mum understand this and support me all the way but I think she'll just flip out, call me anorexic and not get it at all. I haven't told her that I could be diagnosed as anorexic of that I purge or any of that, but I think she has a fair idea that I think I'm fat at times (poor self esteem, blah blah..)
If you got to this point and know what I'm talking about, then well done. I think I'm being kind of vague, sorry, but if you can, please give me your opinions or suggestions or...anything!
Thanks to anybody who replied. I've taken all opinions and suggestions into consideration and you helped me come to a kind of compromise. I'll come here next time I want an intelligent response too :)