Beautifuly Insane (starfishglutony) wrote in ed_ucate,
Beautifuly Insane

Self-esteem with a hint of Philosophy

A series of questions coming your way.

I'm sure no one is surprised by or will disagree with my belief that having an ED comes hand-in-hand with a load of insecurities. The reasons for why we want to lose weight may be different but the fact that we're unhappy with a part of ourselves is the one thing that connects us all together. 

What I really want to know is how far your personal insecurities go?
Were you always this insecure; did the ED result because of being this way, or did you become this way due to your ED?
Are you ever able to see what others see instead of what you're uncomfortable and sick of seeing when you look in the mirror?

I was prompted to write all of this because of a post I made in my journal. I posted an honestly unpleasant picture of me in which I saw nothing but flaws. I was definitely not fishing for compliments because I had a breakdown after taking it. Because I could not recognize the person that is supposed to be me. 

Do any of you feel the same way? Trapped in a body you don't think matches who you really are? Feeling suffocated and restrained?

Anyway, a lot of my amazing livejournal friends were nice enough to leave sweet comments and I want to believe their sincerity but I can't help thinking they were lying to me. And what makes me most uneasy is that I will never be able to step outside of myself, go into the mind of The Other and see what he/she sees. Some of you may be familiar with Sartre's philosophy on that; how the "look of the Other" controls us so much and how we always feel the anxiety of not knowing that others really think of us. 

I'm probably rambling on too much, but I'd love to hear your thoughts about this; your insecurities, whether you ever actually believe others when they compliment you, and what you really see when you look in the mirror. 

Thanks for reading. : )

(kind of cross-posted)

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