Willingness to change
What do I want to change? How motivated am I? How willing am I? What do I think my chances of success are?
1=least, 1o=most
| Motivated | Willing | Success | ||
| - | exercise regulary | 3 | 1 | 1 |
| - | no more binging | 7 | 5 | 5 |
| - | no more restricting* | 10 | 8 | 10 |
| - | 3/2** | 7 | 5 | 9 |
| - | keep food log | 5 | 1 | 5 |
| - | stop weighing myself | 10 | 9 | 10 |
*No More Restricting
Why is my willingness to stop an 8 and not a 10? I still want to lose weight.
Why isn't my willing to stop restricting a 5? Restricting leads to binging, leads to purging behaviors, leads to restricting, leads to binging, and unending spiral into the black depths of the eating disorder.
**3/2
Why is my willingness a 5 and not a 7? Still want to lose weight, still kinda like feeling hungry and the sense of power that gives me. I want my willingness to be higher, but it isn't.
Why not a 3? 3/2 keeps me from restricting and keeps me healthy.
The stop weighing one is interesting. I think a year ago my motivation would have been a 3, my willingness a 1, and my success a 1. It's nice to see some progress and gains from all this work.
