How does the extreme stress affect the eating disorder?
I’m glad you asked. You didn’t ask? Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.
When I’m under a lot of stress, I eat to calm myself. When I’m under extreme stress, like now, I refuse to eat. Refusal, or saying NO!, is a very basic, immature way of asserting control when you feel powerless. If you have kids, you are familiar with this. And this is normal, even healthy, in 2 year olds and in teenagers. In an adult who has lots of control over her life, it’s an unhealthy response, and it’s an illusion.
But … I know it’s wrong. I know I should eat. I know it’s going to backfire in the long run. I even know that I’m hungry, but I have to fight to make myself eat.
So I’m back to a strict and structured 3 meals & 2 snacks food plan and keeping a food log. Back to basics, as it were.