acurate_copy (acurate_copy) wrote in ed_ucate,
acurate_copy
acurate_copy
ed_ucate

laxatives

I have a question for those of you who have abused laxatives before or have just used them a few times as a desperate attempt to lose weight....but first, a bit of background on my situation:
(sorry if this gets either vulgar or very very VERY honest)

This may sound a little odd, but I've always had this thing about fecile matter since I was...geez, probably around 4. I always felt that it was unnatural and impure to crap, so I would actually make myself constipated. I had to go to the ER once because it got so bad. But somehow I felt that I was dirty if I did infact take a crap.

Now, I've abused laxatives for a lengthy amount of years and the feeling of impurity has resurfaced. Do those of you who use them or have used them ever feel ashamed of their obvious affect on you? For me, thinking or seeing myself up till all hours of the night shitting is so embarassing, yet I do it all the time.
So I was just wondering if anyone felt the same way.
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