Neefer (oaktrees) wrote in ed_ucate,

Judging by the scale

Judging by the Scale is a thought distortion that is particular to people suffering from eating disorders. I am no exception. The last several weeks have been difficult for me. Between struggling with a depression low and a weight gain of 10 pounds, I’ve been crazy. Just one example of how I judge myself by the scale is that I believe that I will have more creditability at work if I’m thin. Objectively, outside the disease, I know that’s crap. I know my creditability is based on my previous accomplishments, my level of education, and my current work. But when the disease is rampant, I don’t know that. I think my weight affects everything, brings everything down.

Today, I’m judging by the scale. I’m 2 pounds down from last week, and it makes me feel great.

And it makes me sad that I feel great about that. But I’ve known I started treatment, some 2 years ago, that it was going to be very, very hard to get well. Progress, not perfection. And I acknowledge that I have made progress; I can recognize that it is a distorted thought. My coping statement is: I recognize that gaining those 10 pounds is driving me crazy, but right now, I’m concentrating on getting well; trying to lose weight feeds the eating disorder, and I want to get well.

Except that I am trying to lose weight.

How about you? Do you judge by the scale? Do you recognise when you do it? How do you combat it?

PS - Is this more of what the mods have in mind as an opener for a discussion?

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