lilacpetals (lilacpetals) wrote in ed_ucate,
lilacpetals
lilacpetals
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Stemming off of the last post about mothers and feminism...

I once read in an article that the myth that eating disorders are caused by a controlling mother and absent father has been disproven. I was surprised when i read that, because while i certainly don't think that that's the only cause of an eating disorder, it certainly might play a part.

Take me for an example. I've never met my dad. Neither has my mom. Me, my mom, and my twin sister always did things together as a family and were fairly close. When we were younger teens, my mom was anxious about dating because she didn't want to mess all that up, and she's only started meeting men again now that I'm about to go to university (in eek 9 days). My mom works hard as a single mom, and I did have a babysitter who took care of my sister and I after school, but my mom was always around on weekends. I always wondered though what it would be like if i'd had a dad - would i have been "cooler" in elementary school? would i have been less sensitive to criticism? (as a kid i thought that people with dads went to canada's wonderland, got to go camping, had pets, and rode on the green subway line not the yellow one). Now that I'm older, my big wonder is: would I have had an eating disorder if I'd had a father?

My mom works hard to be two parents at once, and since she worked hard to acquire a kid (she was quite surprised to end up with two at once, and I have often wondered whether as the second twin if I'm the one she didn't really want, but that's beside the point), she's been really protective of my sister and i and wants to make sure she raises us just right. For the most part, she did a good job - we're not into alcohol or drugs, we get marks in the 90%s, and we win awards and do things that make her proud. And yet I have an eating disorder. I've wondered if my mom's semi-conscious desire to raise her children perfectly led to my perfectionism and therefore helped me develop an eating disorder.


First off, is there anybody else here who's had an absent or mostly absent or nonexistent father? Anybody else who had a controlling mother? Do you think that this contributed to you developing an eating disorder? How did it affect any attempts to recover? Any other thoughts?
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