I then asked a few other non-EDed friends -- and my mom -- and they all said they usually did like 20 or so minutes on a cardio machine and could tell me what their heart rate was, but not how many calories they usually used getting it there. I was in shock it had never occured to me that "normal" folks either don't care about calories burned or don't even think to make note of it -- that they look at stuff like getting their heartrate up or how long they go for, when I never even glance at either of those measurements. LOL.
My BF told me he enjoys cardio because it lifts his hormone levels, makes him relaxed and less depressed, and is good for his circulation. I really never felt so different from everybody else before that. Then again, now that I sit and think about it, my thinking of cardio purely in terms of "crossing out" the burger I ate really is a bulimic behavior. And a very OCD thing. Whenever I have thoughts about someone dying, I have to "undo it" by thinking a good thought. I "undo" meals on the elliptical. My boyfriend told me he suspects that I would enjoy my workouts more if I did it to get my heartrate up or have fun or lift my endorphines than to burn calories -- which is true, because I always hate the process of working out, just as I hate having to say rituals in my head to make sure people I love don't die.
Anyone else have this kind of experience? Have you ever noticed a disparity between way you approach exercise and the way that others do.