lilacpetals (lilacpetals) wrote in ed_ucate,


I'm doing a bit of a project for eating disorders awareness week where I'm making a pamphlet to give out to people at my university about how to help a friend with an eating disorder. I'm putting on links to a few sites that have advice for helping friends and family members, but I also want a few stories on it as well.

what things have your friends done to help you recover? what have your friends done that didn't help you?

"When one of my friends (who already knew that I had an eating disorder) noticed that wasn't eating well when I had been for awhile, she asked me, privately, "what happened to all those lovely fruits and things that you used to have in your lunch?" This question was direct enough that I knew what she was addressing, but it was non-threatening enough that I was comfortable opening up and talking through the hard time that I was having that week."

"Once, when I had to have a late-night snack that I didn't want to eat, my friend sat with me the whole time while I ate it. She didn't make me talk about it, or force me to do anything - she just sat with me, reading a book, so that I could have someone close by when I needed it. That was all I needed."

"Some of my friends will constantly tell me that I'm thin, and will argue about it with me when I disagree. Calling me thin doesn't help me. When you call me thin, I start thinking that thin is what I'm supposed to be, and that just encourages the anorexic voice in my mind instead of the recovery voice. Also, deep down in me, I KNOW that I'm thin, and when you tell it to me again and again, it makes me second-guess myself or think that you're calling me thin just because you think that you should say that, and not because you actually believe it. Even if you believe that your comment is honest, it's usually better to not say anything about my body at all - chances are I won't believe you and will get defensive about it."

Also, please tell me if you wouldn't be comfortable with me putting them on a pamphlet. Unless you go to my university, nobody you know would see it. if you're ok with it, I'd put a first name or initial and an age, but I don't even necessarily need that. I just want to know what advice other people have for their friends, mostly since people keep asking me for advice because I run a fundraiser during awareness week.

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