novi (novizio) wrote in ed_ucate,

How did you feel the first time that you found out that something was wrong with your body, as a result of the negative way you cared for it? (if theres been a post that is similar to this one, please let me know)

I knew from the pain I felt in my mouth that I had some cavities (I've had bulimia and would binge on carbs and pure sugar
-on and off, along with other eating disorders- ) , but the fear of finding out that something was wrong made me wait three years..... Turns out that I have gingivitis and 5 cavities. I have had other minor problems  but for some reason, because of the cost and the fact that I'm going to have to get fillings and such means that I'll be in an office -and I cannot stand Doctors offices, I've seen more than enough of them if you were to ask me- that it just hit me. I messed up my teeth and gums because I didn't take care of them properly. And I'm not blaming my eating disorder completely for my teeth, but I think it's safe to say that I it attributed the most. For some reason fear took over......and I simply became scared. I suppose because I'll be put into a place I dislike, where I cant be in control....... And I also feel horribly selfish because my parents will have to pay quite a bit of money to get things fixed, not to mention driving me to the appointments. Like a reality check, that I  don't really control my body, I merely abuse it. It's a strange world.

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