I am looking at my eight IP admission in a month or so, and I have been thinking about what doing "better" means and how my definition of this has changed over time. When I was anorexic, eating less was doing better, and purging made me feel like I was doing better as well. Through bulimia, eating less is still doing better, but also, not bingeing and not purging is doing better. Even when I am trying to recover, eating more is doing badly.
For you, what does doing "better" mean? Is is engaging in more ED behaviors, or less of them? Or only certain behaviors? Has this changed over time, over diagnoses, over patterns of behavior?
