the wonderful wizard of oz (expire) wrote in ed_ucate,
the wonderful wizard of oz

if this has been asked before and i am sure it has, i'm sorry. i did do a search but i am looking for current answers and feedback directly to ease my mind.

i have met criteria for anorexia, bulimia and ed-nos at some point at different times obviously. currently i would be diagnosed as ed-nos were i not too stubborn to see a doctor. which i should but i wont but let's not get into that.

regardless, this is getting very out of control for me. as if it wasn't already, i know. but a relative of mine is very suddenly ill and it's been a stress factor, which at first initiated heavy restriction of food but has since evolved into a heavy purge process. i am not even bingeing in the sense that most of us here know a binge. it is small amounts of food that i find myself putting into my mouth and shortly afterwards violently bringing back up. and then i am ill and constricted with a sore head but i go and do it again later anyways. despite being at work for 6+ hours i am still managing to purge in excess of 10 times within the small timespan i am home and awake.

that said, i have refused doctor treatment and therapy always. but i am beginning to actually consider a therapist or psychiatrist whether or not they specialize in eating disorders. i cannot/will not consider an ED clinic for recovery as i just could not handle that mentally or physically right now. i simply need to get myself under control and if therapy works then i will go from there.

i am on no medications if that matters at all..

but i am needing to know experiences with therapists or psychiatrists when in subject of your eating disorder. doesn't matter which ED you have/had, or if the psychiatrist knew everything or nothing about it. i want to know:

a) did it help? (should i bother?)
b) what privacy level are you kept at? (this is my problem and not my mothers, she doesn't need behind-my-back updates on this, if she must know she can talk to ME strictly)
c) what did sessions consist of?
d) tell me anything that might be crucial or worth knowing. good experiences. bad ones. anything.

i am entertaining the idea but i'm a stubborn cow and unless i know that speaking with a professional will do some good i will continue to sit on my bony ass and procrastinate it until i wont feel like bothering.

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