Erin P. (erinstotle) wrote in ed_ucate,
Erin P.

getting excited about cooking


recently my therapist said that cooking would help me recover or feel good about myself, especially if i'm cooking for other people. i agree with her. i miss cooking. i haven't been cooking proper meals that take more than 10 minutes for years because of immense school work.

so the other day my mom prepared some stuff for me (that i was gonna prepare, but i had no time) so i could cook it. but i got really excited about cooking it, and i was tasting it in the process of cooking to find the "right taste" by adding spices, salt, etc.

when it was done, i pretty much ate a lot of it. it wasn't a binge though. and for some reason, it's all i ate for the next meal, and it's all i ate the day after for EVERY SINGLE MEAL.

i dunno why i was so ENTHUSED about this food. it's kind of funny. i mean, it was pretty good but nothing amazing, but i felt so attatched to what i cooked, and i couldn't stop eating it while there were other food options in my house. i ate small amounts of it for a snack as well.

i'm kind of confused. why do i feel this way about the food i cooked?! have you had a similar experience? is this normal?

part of me thinks that as soon as it was cooked, i wanted it all gone. i hate having leftovers for more than 2 days, and i also hate having bulk food in my house (like granola bars) because i just feel triggered to eat it all the time, regardless of what i actually want.

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