aestheticwishes (aestheticwishes) wrote in ed_ucate,

I am in recovery and I'm beginning to find that when I'm alone (boyfriend or family are not here to watch over me, although their mere presence often seems enough to help me) without realising it, my calorie intake dramatically decreases. For example, when I am with my boyfriend I am eating a normal diet, balanced, and around 1500-2000 calories. I may over-eat at times but it isn't the same as the binging I have often experienced (usually we'll both buy something sweet and unhealthy and enjoy it together). When I'm alone for a few days I feel I am eating normally, or even more healthily because my meal times are set in stone and I plan quite rigidly what I am eating. My plans do not take into account calorie content at all - just what I will enjoy and what would make a fulfilling and enjoyable meal. I don't really snack much either (maybe fruit if anything). I don't realise it at the time but instead later on, when I am thinking back. My calorie intake on these days is usually more like 400-600.

Has anybody else experienced anything similar? I'm not eating better when I'm with my boyfriend because I'm happier. Overall it's because I'm in recovery and I'm conscientiously trying to be better. I'm not sure if it is normal for my intake to suddenly drop when I'm alone. It isn't rational or thought-out. I don't wake up and think 'I will eat less today and no more than said amount'. It just happens. I have no idea why, whether it is still my eating disorder, or whether it's a normal part of everybody's life whether eating disordered or not.

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