Brianna (moderndayeve) wrote in ed_ucate,

I made an appointment with a therapist I have wanted to see for four and a half years. Due to unfortunate situations, I have not been able to get in contact with her until now. I met her at an eating disorder support group when I was 19 I'm 23 now. She made such an impact on my life that I still remember that four and a half years later. Just meeting her gave me so much peace and hope that maybe there is light and recovery out of this long dark tunnel doctors like to call anorexia. She told me that day, "Brianna, eating disorders are not stupid. If they were I would not specialize in them." For some reason, that statement has helped me through so many hard times. She specializes in eating disorders and seems like such an amazing person. Last night I wrote her a really heart felt e-mail, and she responded this morning and called me today.
I have been speaking to God a lot lately about this eating disorder issue, and God told me to speak with Karen, the therapist. God told me that Karen was going to be the one that would help me recover. I explained to her my fears, and she said that she would work with me as long as necessary and won't give up on me. I have only been at a healthy weight for 6 weeks, and I'm backsliding again. She is a therapist I can afford that has appointments that work with my work schedule.
I know that this will work out. I feel so much peace about making the decision to have her as my therapist. I know I will recover. It will be a lot of hard work, but I will recover. I have no doubts, no fears, I want to get over this and live life and go out into the world and achieve all my dreams. I am so excited about this. I know she will help me. God led me to her. I know I will beat this.
I am ready to leave this behind.
There is no turning back this time.
It's time to say goodbye to my eating disorder.
This is it.
I am beautiful, strong, and amazing.
I will win this battle.
I will make it.
I will recover.

I feel so much light, peace, strength, and happiness.

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I don't know if this is ok for ed_ucate, but I have been posting and commenting for awhile and wanted to share how excited and happy I am about meeting with this therapist and starting recovery and this time completing it. Have faith. Never give up. Good luck to all of you on your recovery journey wherever you are. I pray for each one of you. God bless you, I wish you all peace, love, and happiness.
peace & love,

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