stranded_muffin (stranded_muffin) wrote in ed_ucate,

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Please help.

I have two questions.

For the first, here's my situation. I'm 19 and I've had my disorder since I was about 10 or 11. I'm broke, have no insurance, and have been job hunting for the past four months and have found nothing. I'm depressed, lonely, and on my last standing leg.

I am "recovered" ED-NOS, for about six months, due largely to smoking myself numb and stupid. But I've been relapsing and triggering, since I've stopped smoking so much marijuana. I find myself not eating until 10 PM, or purging after meals...     I'm planning on quitting completely, and I'm so afraid of what I'll start reverting back to, that I just can't figure out what to do. When I "recovered" I just managed to stop purging, but the wants are still there and my head's still all fucked up. 

I'm not at a low weight. I don't know if I still qualify for even EDNOS.... but I want to go into treatment. I'm just afraid that since my health is "stabilized", that no ED clinic will take me. I'm not (currently) actively engaged in my ED, so I don't qualify? And it's gotten to where I'm so hopeless, that I'm thinking about starting to purge and restrict again, just so that I DO qualify, again. 

I have no clue... I just... I don't know what to do anymore.

Second, does anyone know of any treatment option in central Illinois?  More specifically, does anyone know of a sliding scale/low income treatment, near central Illinois? I live in Springfield, so I'm right near St. Loius, Champign/Urbana, Chicago, and Indianapolis. I don't want to travel too far from home. But I'm willing to do anything.

Peace - Val

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